Beauty

I remember the first time I thought she was beautiful. It wasn’t the first time I met her, for I don’t think beauty can be determined in such a brief time. No, the first time I thought she was beautiful was when she sat next to me one day. There were lots of us and we all had drinks and smiles on our faces, but it was only her smile that caught my eye. I admired the truth in it and the way it spilled over from her lips to her cheeks and to her eyes and her body. It engulfed her, and me with it.

When her smile went away, you couldn’t even suspect the kind of way it could captivate you. When her smile went away, there was a different kind of beauty altogether.

“Here.” She handed me a drink and stood beside me.

“Thank you.”

I had offered to get the first round, and so had she, and somehow she’d now managed to buy the second round as well. She was persuasive like that, and however much I wanted to think it a sly act, I knew it was kind hearted.

            I wanted to be alone with her, twirl her round the floor in a poor attempt at dancing and kiss her. The music was so loud that to talk I’d put one had on the back of her neck, pull her close to me, my lips brushing her ear, and even then we just nodded and smiled, oblivious.

            I felt like I knew her now. Not completely- I’m not sure that ever happens- but some. There is this thing I do every time I'm with her, and I sometimes get so distracted by it that I end up not saying anything for a long time. Every time I see her, I take note of the things I've learnt, to remind myself that they're still there. At first it was her smile, her eyes, her hand in mine, her voice. And now it's her character, her laugh, her morals, and the depth of her thoughts.
           Whoever it was that said beauty is only skin deep, I think they must’ve lived a very fast paced life. I live slowly, learn slowly, and get to know people slowly, and with that comes a different kind of understanding.

            I understand what I see in front of me. I understand what is hidden under the surface. I understand the way I feel. And most of all, when I look at her, I understand how much more there is to know.

And I wish, oh I so wish, that I keep finding the kind of beauty that I have now come to know.