It's getting dark early again.
I'm one of those unfortunate people who's mood is influenced and swayed with the world and all it's ways. When the sun shines I get up early and go outside, just to be caressed by the warmth for as long as I can. I used to imagine my happiness was solar powered in that sense; the more I could soak up, the longer I would feel giddy and on top of the world.
Then the sun would make other friends on the other side of the planet and forget about me. I'd see less and less of her. My days would start in the afternoon and by six at night I'd want to slink into my covers, longing for the encompassing rays of normality. I'd sip my hot tea with too much gusto, as if I could close my eyes and pretend the sun was heating me from the inside out. But every time I opened my eyes again, I was reminded it was just tainted water and grain after grain of sugar.
The days are shortening again now. I await the sinking feeling, but it doesn't come. Is it running late? Is it masquerading itself? I search a while, I don't know why, and find nothing. My smile remains right through the day, from my waking alarm to my very last thought and beyond, into sleep. I've started to hunger for gloaming, where the light dips but the mood remains the same and the people take charge of conversation, with animated smiles attached to each name.
I guess the world and all it's ways aren't as influential as they once were. Either that or I'm no longer a child who can be so easily reigned.
